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Cryogenically treated, gold plated, audiophile…WALL SOCKET?

Submitted by on October 26, 2009 – 4:43 pm One Comment

If you’ve got more money that you know what to do with, there’s a new way to spend it. Why not drop $147 on a new cryogenically-treated, gold-plated wall socket?

The company that makes the “Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket” is completely serious about the “audio-grade” claim, even going so far as to try to trademark the term. Even one of the commenters says “behind acoustic treatment, AC power is the second most under-invested aspect of home theater”. Yes, and maybe there’s a reason for that.

Have these people ever thought about the literally miles of wiring and connectors behind the wall that goes all the way to where the power is generated? I don’t think any of that uses cryogenically-treated gold doo-dads.

I just love some of the reviews:

I received my Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket by Wattgate in the mail yesterday. Well, I shouldn’t say “in” the mail because when I went to my porch to get the package, the package was just floating there. It was about 2 or 3 feet off the ground. I grabbed the delivery man before he left (as he was right down the street) and he said, and I quote “I don’t want any trouble, just take your package and leave me alone”.

Not only was that odd, but when I took it inside, I couldn’t put it down on the table. The package would just float. Very strange indeed. I go to open the package and I find there is nothing inside. Now I am angry. This is supposed to be the best receptacle on the market and all I got was a floating box. Inside there is a piece of paper. “Place a drop of water in the box”.

As I have nothing else to do, I add a drop of water to the bottom of the box and to my surprise the receptacle began to re-assemble itself. I should have known. Nano-machine technology. Apparently this item was assembled using nano machines and shipped with nano machines. Normal box packaging would damage the sensitive audio components. I should have known.

Unfortunately one of the machines went haywire, escaped the box and ate my television. I am not happy about it. However, I did install the socket after throwing the box in the yard (the machines die after being outside for 20 minutes). I have never, in my life heard audio like this. I finally understood Mozart, Beethoven and Nirvana. I understand music on a whole new level. I have become…a music God. I only drink Tuscan Whole Milk. I am one.

… and:

While pouring a fresh glass of Tuscan whole milk, I splashed a few drops on the wall… Horrified at my clumsiness, I tried to clean the mess with a dampened microfiber cloth from my recently installed Wattgate 381 receptacle. I accidentally pushed the wet cloth a bit too far into one of the slots with a screwdriver and received a rather large jolt of electricity.

While electrified, I swear I heard the sweet, sweet voices of a multitude of angels all singing in perfect harmony. That sound is with me still and I’ve decided to forgo the purchase of a new Denon sound system and will invest instead in a new gold-plated screwdriver so I can hear the voices again and again.

Do they provide less resistance, less capacitance, and less inductance than regular old outlets? A definite “No”, but I guess that isn’t the point.

If you want to drop some money on one of these and make your synths sound better than ever, you can get them here. It goes well with your Shakti Stones and green ink CD marker pens that you keep beside your Tice Clock.

(update: used to have a ton of hilarious reviews of this power socket, but they’ve deleted them all. Luckily for us, we can still see them via Google Cache here.)

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